another moral hangover. fuck.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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