Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
