We won't sleep together?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
