so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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