I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize