If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
