Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
