It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
