she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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