At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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