Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
