im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
