I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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