I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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