if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
