Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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