Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
