You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
