Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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