we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
