Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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