I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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