at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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