So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
