we have officially lost it.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize