Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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