I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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