1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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