so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
