yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize