I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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