I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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