yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize