I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
