the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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