You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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