it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
