She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
being pregnant is like rehab
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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