I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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