Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
