i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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