I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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