He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
