At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
