Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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