Please, let me fuck your mom
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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