Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
