why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
