Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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