Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
