True but thats because hes a fetus.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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