FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
