you would pick up someone in the library
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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