cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
