I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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