Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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