Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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