Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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