i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
